Author’s note: I was a bit cranky yesterday morning when I wrote my lovely “little” rant about socialization! 
As a matter of fact, I did indeed wake up very sick (today) with a cold or some auto-immune illness. Also, having a bone marrow biopsy and aspirate with cytogenetics did not help my attitude, either, lol! At any rate, I stand by what I wrote, but I have revised it a bit for two reasons:
1.) Writing first thing in the morning does NOT a “grammar-whiz” make! I re-read my writings and wanted to take an opportunity to correct my grammar errors (as I see them, lol).
2.) I wrote yesterday right after reading an alarming story about a 7-year old boy disappearing from his elementary school this past Friday. Kyron Horman still has not been found, and I am praying for his safe return. It was chilling, to say the least. The story made me recall several conversations I have had recently about homeschooling, and socialization in particular. So – that is where my “rant” comes from, a place deep within my heart, both for that boy and for my own children. Okay – so there you have it, and if you did not read my Socialization blog from yesterday, go ahead and read all about it! If you have not read it, you may be out socializing!
As I continue to hear the same question time and again, “What about Socialization?” in regards to homeschooling, I have written in direct response to this question. Note: It is funny to me that while I do not go around asking folks who send their children to public school about their child’s socialization skills, or lack thereof – people seem to have absolutely NO qualms about asking me about my child’s socialization “issues”. I do think that many times it truly IS out of either a concern or a curiosity that questions arise. To to be fair, I want to ease their concerns and, moreover, to encourage anyone even remotely considering homeschool as an option for their children to read the information I offer here. This will allow you to come to your own conclusions in this area – but please do not take my word for it. Simply look up “homeschool and socialization” on the internet, and you should to find more information about this one small area for yourself.
Be blessed, and ask any questions you have, and feel free to post any comments, or share this with a friend!
- Question: Does your child have ANY friends? Answer: YES, my child has friends to “socialize” with; some homeschool, others attend private and/or public school. I do not specifically look to a particular group be it homeschooled or otherwise to socialize with, just friends who share things in common.
- Question: Well, okay…but do you ever GO anywhere? Answer: Yes, most certainly! We go on field trips, usually twice per month. We manage to go on field trips in spite of my (non-contagious) illnesses.
- Question: Where do you go? Answer: We attend field trips just as any other school would – we gravitate toward Museums, Zoos, and Aquariums – in addition to plays, musicals, etc.
- Question: Can you really have as many field trips as say, a public school? What about the costs of these field trips? Isn’t it much more expensive to attend as a “Parent/Child” than it would be to go as a “real” school student? Answer: In my child’s former school, he had one field trip per YEAR. There are MANY different homeschool groups and Co-ops to join, so the field trip costs are not nearly as expensive as one would presume. In fact, as I recall, I would pay well over $100 or more per year, per child, for my kids to have their one field trip, in addition to the mandatory “donation” for a so-called Parent working with the teacher alliance, and also for my child to be able to celebrate his birthday with his “friends” (those would be the bullying classmates that they would get to “socialize” with for the school year). In addition, we have NO COST park days available at least once per week. For the children who may not know, “Park Days” includes an activity that we (older folks) as children used to call “recess”. The last I heard, very little recess time exists within the school systems, if it is not already completely banned.
I will post a survey in a few moments for YOU to take. I hope you will take part! Enjoy and be blessed! Maria
By God’s design, the natural order of things is for parents to teach their children. We teach them how to use a cup, walk, ride a bike, use good manners, how to pray, dress appropriately, drive a car, etc., so farming out the teaching of The Four R’s isn’t wholly necessary. ( The Four R’s being here Reading, Writing, Arithmetic, Religion) Socialization does not, in fact, fall into the category of the The Four R’s, so it can easily be taught in the family. It is not a subject which is so difficult to learn that a family must rely on strangers outside the home to teach one of its members how to be a sociable, well-loved person! The practice of good manners, acts of charity,and learning to get along with others happens right at home. Being with 2 dozen peers for 6+ hours/day does not, in itself, teach a child to be positively sociable; however, it can and often does teach children the negatives of socialization, i.e., peer pressure, bullying, cliques, fitting in, etc. because the peer group is also learning. Together they are learning and teaching each other negatively.
The question to ask is: “Do I want my child to be sociable according to the standards of our family or socialized according to the standards of school children?” I prefer sociable according to our family standards!
Your dear Adam is a well-mannered young boy who treats his friends nicely, and he speaks well, politely, and clearly to adults. You’ve done a great job, Mama! Don’t think anymore of this socialization issue according to other’s opinions/questions. Your son’s actions speak well of his family’s teaching all on their own!
Hi Michelle and thanks! Your thoughts are well written, and greatly appreciated! I loved what you wrote, especially this part: The question to ask is: “Do I want my child to be sociable according to the standards of our family or socialized according to the standards of school children?” I prefer sociable according to our family standards!” Amen!
Thanks also very much for your kind words about Adam. I think truly that God has led ME in all of this to further His Glory. Adam had a rough weekend this past one, and his social skills were really put to the test. When I finally realized “what” his issues were on Saturday night – I realized they had less to do with his social skills, and more to do with his concern over my health and wanting to spend time with me. Through our rough patch, at first I was angry with him. When we talked through it, we were able to read the Bible and it brought us to a peaceable solution. He is not perfect by any means, BUT we try to work through these things. THAT is one of the differences I notice about our form of socialization. That is, even if I am angry about something, I can later think about it, talk with him, and we most always work it out. No one will love him more than we do. If he had those issues at school he would be shinned for sure, and feel terrible about himself. Have a great day! Maria